Why it's hard to show her your desire

My guy,

You’ll love this.

You have a desire to be close to a girl, hug, touch, kiss and have sex with her. It’s natural.

Girls have the exact same, and they understand that guys do too.

In society today both girls and guys have been shamed since childhood for showing their desires and sexuality. Actually, most of us have had most of our emotions shamed. Our emotions then get «shame-bound». When we then feel an emotion, we feel the shame and it hurts so we try not to do it. This means we are escaping our emotions, needs and wants, and acting in a way that we think will be approved of.

So then, you see a girl and feel your desire for her.

You can go up to her and say what you feel and think. Maybe she likes you, maybe not. Attraction is natural and often we cannot do anything other than not get in the way of it. (Most guys get in the way of it and that’s why girls reject them).

So what happens when a guy gets in the way of his attraction (because of the shame he feels) is that he is putting on a mask. He does it to get her approval so that he feels OK about his desire. That’s why guys find it easier to kiss a girl after she has already kissed him.

So, what this mask means is that he is not being authentic. He is acting. Being fake. Now do you think she can feel that? Yes, girls are more in touch with emotions and energy so they feel when a guy is holding back something. In a way then, he is rejecting himself because he thinks this part of him is not good enough.

So when he approaches her, feeling he is not good enough, already rejected himself - what do you think she does?

You’re right - rejects him.

You might have heard that you create your reality and yes this is what happens here.

The solution then is to be authentic. That’s it.

Go up, be as direct and honest as you can. Don’t think about what you can say so she will like you, because if you do you are right back into approval seeking, meaning you’re rejecting yourself. No, you gotta give yourself this approval.

There are ways of doing that like
1. Developing a good self-talk
2. Integrating the shame you feel
3. Coming in contact with your intuition.

These three steps is what I teach in my coaching and once you do, you’ll find how easy it becomes because you can walk up to any girl even if you feel nervous and afraid. It doesn’t matter. You’ll be able to have girls chasing you because you’re not chasing them. Most importantly, you’ll feel happy because you’re no longer looking out there for the solution, but rather within yourself. That’s how you become attractive and that’s the power of your authenticity!

I’ll see you tomorrow,

Edin