4 steps to become comfortable around attractive girls

Hey man

This blew my mind in the morning.

I was going to wait to publish it, but it gave me a breakthrough during the day and then I shared it with my students on our group call.

The feedback was so good so I decide to share it with you.

Keep in mind that this requires you to sit down for 30 minutes and do the work, which requires a bit of energy from you.

But, if you choose to invest this into yourself

man.

Can we agree upon that your thoughts create your reality?

Cool, so to create a reality where you are comfortable around attractive girls, you need to remove the limiting thoughts and replace them with empowering ones.

Yeah?

From my 11 years of dating girls and then from my experience of helping guys do the same, Ive found that the most limiting thoughts we have around girls are the shameful ones.

And if you replaced them with self-loving ones, you would attract girls like a magnet.

No pushing, no pulling. Just by following your excitement.

Sounds great?

Then let’s get to the practice:

Stop the obsessive shaming thoughts

Shaming thoughts tend to fall into three categories:
•⁠ ⁠self-put downs (I’m too shy to get what I need) and (I’m so stupid)
•⁠ ⁠Catastrophic thoughts about ones ability to handle the future
•⁠ ⁠Shaming thoughts of remorse and regrets.

Write down five of your most shaming thoughts:
Example:
1.⁠ ⁠I should have spoke with her
2.⁠ ⁠I’m a loser
3.⁠ ⁠Why didn’t I do it
4.⁠ ⁠This should not happen
5.⁠ ⁠I hate myself

Pick one of the thoughts.

Step 1: Imagine the thought
Go back into a moment where your thought is likely to occur. Immerse yourself into it, if you can feel the shame that’s a good sign because if you can voluntarily increase the shame you can voluntarily reduce it.

Step 2: Thought interruption
Record yourself saying STOP at varied intervals (every 2-4 minutes). Sit or lie down and get into the situation again. Really recall the details. As you get into it start the recording and when you hear the STOP, set a goal of having your mind be completely blank for 30 seconds. Then go back into the thoughts and when you again hear the STOP, you go blank.

Step 3: Unaided thought interruption
Set an alarm for 3 minutes. Let yourself return to your thought and experience all the feelings. When the alarm rings you shout STOP out loud. Notice how long your mind stays clear of the painful thought. Now set your alarm and do it again. You can also add snapping your fingers, jumping up, raising your arm like a traffic cop or snapping a rubber band that’s around your wrist. Once you can stop the thought for about 30s, start saying STOP in a normal voice when the alarm rings. When you can stop the thought for about 30s, say it in a whisper. When the whisper works, you imagine shouting STOP in your head. Then say STOP silently just as the thought is entering your mind. You cut it off the second it begins before it starts a shame spiral.

Step 4: Thought substitutions
Nature abhors a vacuum, so within 30-60 seconds, the old thought may come back if you don’t replace it with a positive thought. Use «you» sentences instead of «I» sentences as it implies a degree of outside control. Examples: Take a deep breath, pause, relax. It’s okay to be imperfect. It takes courage to be imperfect. This too shall pass. You got this, just let it go and be present. You love and accept yourself, without the need for any external validation. You’re not perfect, and that’s ok. It takes practice. You’ve had the old thoughts for years, now take time to unwind these. Start easy with not he most difficult thought, just like a surfer starts with a small wave.

Take the time and invest in your mind.

Things get so much easier.

I’ll see you,

Edin