The real reason for why guys overthink

Hey man,

It’s the end of a long workday, and I’m about to head out on a date with a girl I met this weekend.

But before I do, let me leave you with something powerful—something that helps me (and my students) effortlessly meet women throughout the day, without overthinking it.

Because the truth is:
Meeting girls isn’t hard.

All you really need to do is walk up and speak your truth—without filtering yourself.

So why don’t we?

That one thing that stops us?

The mind.

These thoughts feel true in the moment—but they’re not.

We all get caught in them, including me.
But this isn’t about approaching every girl you see. That’s not realistic—or healthy.

This is about something deeper.

The dating journey has two parts:

1. External: Approaching, dating, and expressing your desire

2. Internal: Your relationship with yourself

Most guys only focus on the first.
They chase the next approach, the next reply, the next date…

But without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s just performance.
You end up doing more, but feeling less.
That’s where burnout and shame creep in.

I’ve been there—dating multiple girls, but still feeling off.
Because underneath it all, I was still seeking something from them… instead of feeling solid within me.

So we flip the script.

We start with self-love. We build the foundation.

Because when you stop seeking her validation, something incredible happens:

You become grounded.
You stop needing.
And ironically? That’s what makes you most attractive.

Here’s how to start:

Learn the AAUE Framework.
It’s a simple process I teach to help you:

• Calm your nervous system

• Interrupt negative spirals

• And make it safe to express desire without shame

I’ve made a video on it—you can watch it here.

Now let’s talk about overthinking.

You’ve probably had this moment:
You see a woman you want to meet…
But your mind spins out. And you hesitate.

Here’s what’s worked like magic for me and my clients lately:

Ask yourself this simple question:

“What do I really want to do right now? I don’t have to do it—I just want to know.”

That one question bypasses your overthinking and lets your real self answer.
From there, use the AAUE framework to ground yourself… and go for it.

It’s not about pushing.
It’s about supporting yourself enough to take the action that feels true.

If you want help integrating this and making it second nature—
reply to this email with “1:1” and we’ll jump on a call to see if we’re a match.

All the best,
Edin