Stop feeling creepy

Hey man,

Last night I rewatched the movie Hitch. You know, the one with Will Smith where he works as a dating coach.

The first time I watched it was in high school.

I was with a girl who I was friends with, but I also felt attracted to her.

Sometime during or after the movie I tried kissing her and she said
“But Edin, we are friends”

it felt embarrassing and afterwards while she drove me to the bus station, I just wanted it to be done so I could escape the situation.

Have you ever experienced a similar situation?

Well, the problem was that I had been holding back my desire for her throughout our friendship and then, all of a sudden, I make a move

of course she was confused.

I did not hold back because of a strategy, but because I felt creepy and ashamed about wanting her.

That somehow if I showed her my desire, I’d be bad.

This all stems from childhood, because some guys don’t really have this.

Which means it’s something internal, like a belief that keeps you stuck where you are.

I recommend identifying that belief, and imagining that a little child (your inner child) beliefs this.

For example “My desire is bad”

and the same way you would meet a little child who believes something which is not true (like the Santa Claus) you don’t need to ridicule him, but rather meet him with compassion.

There is probably some hurt there, which, if you choose to feel, will reduce in intensity.

Do this now if you want.

..

Then, you make yourself a promise to take a little step towards a new belief like
“My desire is normal”.

This little step can be to acknowledge it as it arises “Oh, I feel attracted to that girl, and that is okay”

and from there you can play around with it.

Next one could be to give the girl a compliment or even ask her out.

The road is yours.

Main thing is to progress the process from believing it’s creepy and bad to want her, to understanding it’s normal and okay.

For your authenticity,

Edin