Low emotional state?

Hey man,

today I’m working from a café.

One of the baristas is pretty and I notice that I’m becoming reactive when she is passing by.

Like my mind is going blank, and suddenly my movements are becoming awkward. Then the overthinking kicks in

“She totally noticed that awkward movement”
“I looked at her twice and she didn’t look back, she must think I’m a creep”
“Oh, the other barista is looking, they are probably planning on throwing me out or calling the police”

I know, my mind is funny. But, still it’s there, so what do you do in this case?!

Well, I went into the bathroom and had a talk with my inner child. I’ll share with you the framework, but let me tell you what happened first.

My inner child really wants to speak with her and just say hi, but he’s afraid of her saying no. First and foremost he is afraid of me rejecting myself if it goes bad.

So I talk with him and tell him that no matter what happens, I will be there with him. It takes a bit of time, but he gets onboard with it.

Then it’s the fear of her saying no, which is all the judgement that my mind was afraid of. So I tell him again that I will be there no matter what, and even visualize it going wrong and everyone laughing of me and I’m still there with myself.

As I do, I start feeling excited.

Then I ask if he’s afraid of succeeding, and he really is!

We visualize it going well too, and and I feel ready.

I’m fully connected to my desire, and as I open the door everything is flowing like a movie.

I walk out and as I’m about to say hi, the moment is not right! She is about to talk with a customer, and I would be interrupting…

I hesitate!

So I sit down and my first reaction is to judge me not doing it. Then I remember my promise, so I start embracing him. Initially it feels weird to be okay with not doing what I say I wanted to, but like Eckhart Tolle says -

Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.

In that moment, she goes to the neighbor table to take an order and as she leaves it I go for it

“Hi!”

She looks over and expects me to ask or order something, but then she sees that childlike smile of mine

She smiles back says hi and we lock eyes for a moment

What a beautiful moment where she knows that I’m attracted and we can both enjoy that without hiding anything.

No forcing, no creepiness - just Raw Authenticity.

Take care,

Edin