I used to be scared to be rejected

Good afternoon my man!

It’s Saturday, and I allow myself to do stuff a little less serious this day

you know, like less pressure

for example writing you this e-mail, I do hope it finds you well, but if it doesn’t

I’m more OK with it today than the other days of the week, and I think this balance is important to have.

The ability to say “fuck it”

and just go with it, instead of overthinking and trying to perfect it.

It’s the same way when you go out and try to speak with girls, and here is a way to reduce your fear of rejection by 95%

I call it “The Social Warmup”

Saturday evening,

you’ve decided to go out to a bar and speak with some girls.

You feel excited, anxious and it’s like you need to go poo.

That’s alright.

Totally normal btw (I used to feel like vomiting before going out to socialize because of the nerves)

So you leave the house, go to the bar and there she is…

A cute girl, surrounded by her friends

You master the courage to go up, but as you do, there is no confidence or power behind your words

the girls look at you for a second,

and when I say look, it’s more like they look through you

and then turn their backs

ouch!

This sucks

Why did it happen - and how does this correlate with reducing your fear of rejection?

Let me take you through the The Social Warmup

Imagine instead, when leaving your house

you visualize your intention for the evening (go being social, spreading good vibes and approaching girls you find with good energy)

and your goal (get a phone number, have a girl come home with you)

then, you leave your house.

An elderly mann passes by with his dog, so you smile, greet him and wish him a great evening.

This felt great!

You go on the metro or the bus, and greet the bus driver

there is a group of teenagers making some noise

you walk by and say “what is up guys”

they kind of look wierdly at you, but as you sit down you feel great for speaking up.

You go out, and on the way to the bar you approach a girl and ask her for directions (you know where you’re going, but you’re asking just to talk with her")

she tells you, and as you go, you’re starting to feel more present and social

Approaching the bar, you greet the security guard, then the bartender, and you ask them about their day

a girl shows up to your left

brunette

you say “Hi, what’s your name?”

you speak for a few minutes, before she says she’s going back to her friends, and then you remember your first goal…

you ask for her number

she gives it.

Now for the final boss

You see the group of girls,

and as you’re already feeling great, you walk up without second-guessing it.

They turn around even before you’ve said anything, because they can feel your energy

the girl closest to you smiles and moves a bit so you can come closer

as you say hello greet you

the first girl introduces herself to you and you feel this warm energy of being included

because you’ve shared this vibe with them, they’re now allowing you in

and the best part is that even if they did not include you, you wouldn’t feel so bad because you were already having fun

already in a flow and KNEW that you were out there to GIVE

so even if they did not want it, you’re not SEEKING for anything

you already have the inner validation, and they felt it

and because of that, you were confident, relaxed and comfortable so the opener, conversation as well as when you ask the girl to come home with you

comes naturally

and when you’re asking her in the same relaxed way you would ask someone for directions

expecting it to go well

then how do you think she responds?

Enjoy yourself tonight ;)

Edin