I booked a sales meeting

Hey man,

So as you might now, I work two days a week as a consultant for my old job.

Cold calling people to book meetings.

It’s frustrating, empowering and a roller coaster — just like cold approaching.

I’ve done both for a combined amount of 17 years now, and today I got an insight that you can use the next time you consider cold-approach

because it might just land you a date.

People are generally interested in opportunities, and we’re quick to judge. For example, when you see a beggar on the street - have you noticed this difference?

1) Some seem to try to guilt you into helping them (this is my experience)

2) Others are putting an effort, like playing an instrument.

But even then, there is a deeper difference. 

Can you notice when someone is trying to get something from you?

Like when a friend walks up and asks you some questions, but you can feel that he is looking to get something.

Now, this is not wrong or bad, because we need each other to survive, but a difference between a friend or family member and a girl you never met before, is that the girl doesn’t owe you anything.

And because she doesn’t owe you anything, you cannot EXPECT her to give you something in return for nothing.

Nothing you say?

“But I smiled and gave her a compliment”

Yes, and if she is attractive, don’t you think that she’s getting smiles and compliments all the time?

And in most of those instances, why do you think someone gave her that?

In order to get something

Now, there is a right and a wrong way about this, and the wrong way is what we’ve just described.

It’s when you go up to get, meaning “here is a smile, now give me validation” or when I was cold calling “here is my pitch, now give me a meeting”

and because we can feel when someone wants something from us, we put our guard up and say no.

Alright, so what can I do to successfully cold-approach a pretty girl?

Here is where the insight I got comes into place

You start by giving

When I called the guy, I GAVE him the sales pitch — and it was a great one.

Not because of the words I said, but because while I was giving it, I was unattached to the outcome. I literally gave him good energy in every word, while at the same time making it sound exciting (and it is!).

So now, when you approach the girl, you do the same.

You GIVE her a good experience while being outcome independent on the result of the interaction.

You make it about her, the experience and stay present during it.

Now she feels that you are there to give, which is first of all different from most other times she’s been approached — but also, she doesn’t feel that you’re there to get anything.

Now she relaxed and feels comfortable.

And if there is something we want, is for her to be relaxed and comfortable around you

because when she is, how much easier is it for you to take her out on a date?

I’ll see you champ,

Edin