How

Hey man,

Today I sent a risky text.

I’m seeing this pretty girl on Sunday, and I decided to text her something flirty despite already having confirmed the date.

5 minutes after sending it, the thoughts like

“Why did I do that”
“She’s going to cancel the date”
“That was stupid”

started creeping in.

You know which ones I mean right?

30 minutes goes by and I start feeling the guilt and shame.

It’s crazy, because I’m actually fine - we’ve only been on few dates so it’s not an important relationship in my life even if she would cancel.

Luckily, this trauma trigger has happened so many times that I know the drill by now.

I sit down, close my eyes and ground myself

I’m starting to feel the painful emotions, the knot in the stomach and my thoughts go crazy.

I want to distract myself.

I breathe, and relax into the pain.

No need to change anything

just sit with it

and gradually giving myself more and more compassion.

(This is just like the Love&Light meditation, if you don’t have it and you recognize yourself in this problem then you need it. Here it is)

I’m getting to a point where I feel like I’m totally surrendering to the feeling and letting it be there.

A big sigh

I feel relaxed

At that moment, my phone vibrates

A few minutes later, after finishing up I check the message

It’s from her

She thought it was funny

Interesting how these “coincidences” happen

It just goes to tell how connected we all are and unless you do the inner work and release your neediness by giving yourselves the validation you are seeking from others

you will keep manifesting these scenarios which are actually an opportunity for you to grow.

In the past I would distract myself with video games, weed and other girls.

Yes, even other girls.

That’s why the classic alpha dating advice which is “Bro just get more girls and you won’t be needy”

is a terrible advice if your goal is also to grow spiritually.

Just getting more girls becomes a distraction from your actual growth which doesn’t care about sleeping with more girls (though it becomes easier and more fun once you feel safer within).

And here’s a golden nugget for you.

This feeling of safety is what women are attracted to.

Her feminine energy wants to be with your grounded masculine energy.

That’s attraction.

Not pick-up lines

Not social proof

Just an understanding of how attraction works.

We could be talking about this for a long time, so maybe I’ll record a longer YouTube video about this tomorrow.

It changes your dating life because by practicing feeling safe within you’ll become more and more attractive.

That’s when you’ll walk into any room and just feel how girls are pulled towards you.

Without you doing anything.

No need to run around and approach everyone.

She’ll come to you.

Take care, I’ll likely see you with the video tomorrow,

Edin