Do you fear trusting your excitement?

Hey dude,

Last evening I surprised my girlfriend on her birthday.

She mentioned she wanted to try swing dance, so I planned (with the help of her two closest friends) for her to come to the local swing club - and we got a private lesson.

It was fun, and she seemed very happy about it.

Earlier in the day, I went to the market to buy a little gift for her.

Something symbolic.

The market is very popular here in Tbilisi, it gathers around 30-40 different sellers who each have their table(s) with stuff

Everything from old knives, coins, artifacts from different wars, and so on

Her horoscope sign is Scorpio, and she also mentioned she once saw a Scorpio pin with a heart on its tail, so during my lunch I’m out here looking for it

Over the years, I’ve learned to become less outcome-dependent (still have a long way to go), so I decided to be present and allow things to happen

I’m scanning the different tables, as I know exactly what I’m looking for, but I don’t seem to find any scorpio with a heart

That’s why, I start to have this inner dialogue with myself where I’m talking with someone else

Do you ever do that?

I talk with this man, who is experienced in this area and I tell him that I’m looking for a Scorpio with a heart

and that’s when…

I see it

Not what I expected

There is a Scorpio pin, and next to it lays a necklace that’s shaped like a heart

“Wow, I got what I asked for”

but then, like often, the voice within, the self-doubt, creeps in

“Yeah, but it’s not what I wanted”
“I should go and look somewhere else, this is not it”
“It’s probably expensive”

Isn’t it funny? You ask for something, and when you get that, you still manage to talk your way out of it

well not this time

I’m going back and forth and finally decide to go for it

The woman does a good job selling it, saying it’s real silver and a good price, which later validated for me how important it is to sell, because if not I might have let my self-doubt get the best of me

I gave it to my girl when we came home last night, and she loved it (she’s wearing the necklace now)

You likely resonate with feeling the excitement and then doubting to trust it, especially when it comes to approaching girls that you find attractive.

The problem in these cases is that you overthink the outcome, because yes, she might “reject you”

and that feeling is not good.

But you also know that the guilty feeling that comes from not doing it, is worse.

So what can you do, because at the moment it’s easy to talk your way out of it?

Here’s what you can do:

Start trusting the excitement in your day-to-day life, and start small

Something tells you to go to the store and buy a Coca-Cola. (I don’t drink soda, but this is what came up in my mind)

Then do it, but as you leave the house, let go of the outcome and be present on every step of the way.

If you get there, and they are out of Coca-Cola, then make a decision to get something else, or go for a walk.

By re-framing this situation from “failure because you didn’t buy it” to “win because you went for it” — you condition yourself to validate yourself from within.

And once you’re validating yourself from within, you need less validation from without, and that’s when you become “dangerous”

You can go up and talk with anyone because whatever happens, you’ll feel good that you did it

you can go for the kiss or ask her to come home with you because you’re not dependent on her answer to feel good

you feel good because you start to trust yourself

and trust your inner excitement.

Have a blessed Saturday man,

I’ll see you tomorrow,

Edin