Become a magnet

Hey man,

hope you’re good! (I am, did my first double swing on the jumping rope today lol)

another thing I did today was speaking with a guy in the DMs who finds it hard to approach girls.

It’s not that he cannot do it (he’s done it multiple times and is even seeing a girl), but every time he knows he will go out for approaches it’s like he has a black butterfly in his stomach.

Only after he’s done it he feels a relief and the pride of doing it, but until then it’s a torture!

How do you deal with this pressure, so that the approaching becomes fun?

To do it, we gotta look at why you’re feeling this pressure, where it’s coming from.

So let’s start there, where is it coming from?

I’d say that you want to get something out of it, a number or a date, yeah?

If so, you put importance on getting this number or date.

So far, so good right?

Actually, this is where the problem comes.

By putting an importance on getting something out of the approaching, you start to attach yourself to the future.

If you’ve read Eckhart Tolle, you already know that the future doesn’t exist (it’s only the present moment)

which means that you’re projecting yourself into your imagination and losing your presence.

The result?

Anxiety about what may happen and the fear of the potential judgement and rejection.

This is not a great place to be when talking with girls!

If you’re fearing rejection, you’ll be trying to avoid it, and the only way is to TRY TO GET something from the girl which means you’ll be SEEKING her approval.

This means that you’re no longer authentic, which is where your magnetic attraction lies!

I used to people-please like crazy, so I’ve found what works:

There are 2 steps:

These takes some mastery over the mind, so if you don’t have that then I recommend you upgrade that.
One way I recommend is through meditation, particularly Isha Kriya by Sadghuru. You can find it on YouTube

1. Reframe the fear into excitement. You do this by coming back to the moment and changing thoughts like “Omg, what is going to happen” into “I feel a lot of energy, both fear and excitement, and I’ll take all of this exciting energy with me”.
   
   By doing that you’ll be anchoring yourself to the moment without resisting any part of yourself. You’ll feel more free + you’re now a walking magnet of energy!
   

2. Focus on the intention, not the goal.
   Example:
   
   Intention: I’ll approach three girls on my way home from work and express my desire as authentically as I can.
   Goal: Get a number or an instant date.
   
   By doing this you’re taking responsebility of the only thing that you can control, which are your inputs. No matter how it goes, you can be proud of yourself for doing what you said.

   A side effect is that you’ll be non-needy because what you get is no longer important. It’s like a sales person who doesn’t care wether or not the prospect buys = attractive.
   

3. BONUS: Join a community of men on the same journey. 
   I’ve found everything from boxing practice to approaching girls to be more fun when done with others. Either meet someone in your city or just link up online and keep each other accountable.

   By taking the energy with you and only focusing on what you give out, you’ll be more relaxed and more importantly…start to have fun!

   
   
   Cao,

   Edin