A few hours ago

Hey man,

today I’ve been building the new community in Skool (you’ll hear about this next week)

and one of the exercises is to gradually increase the social interactions.

So as I left the house to go to the store, I decide to do it myself.

As I’m leaving my apartment,

I go left and see a woman with her dog

Feeling the cringe of starting an interaction with a stranger who is not looking at me,

and I tell her

“Hola!”

she does not even look over

I tell myself that she’s probably lost in her own thoughts, smile and keep going.

The next increase is to give someone a compliment

I see a man with his dog (lots of dogs out), smile, say hello and compliment his dog for being pretty.

He smiles back, says thanks and I keep on going.

Now I’m feeling more social.

I see a woman walking her dog (come on, WHO let the dogs out?)

and it’s more like the dog is walking her, than her walking the dog.

I go up and comment on it and we have a short conversation

feels awesome.

I continue on towards the store when I see a girl around my age.

I stop her and tell her directly that the reason I stop her is because I’m practicing meeting strangers to go outside my comfort zone.

She says “wow that’s cool”

I wish her a great day, and on towards the store I’m going.

The last part of the increase is to ask a girl out

there are no girls in sight

right as I’m about to turn towards the store I see a cute girl and her friend

I think

“hmm, she’s not really my type, I’m not sure if I would wanna be her boyfriend”

and then I go into the store

well knowing that I just excused myself out of talking with this girl

and as I walk inside I feel the shame and guilt build up

“why didn’t I just do it”

I’m buying some cleaning products for the cleaning lady who is coming in a few hours and I’m phoning my flat mate to ask if we have a certain product

as we’re talking I start to feel frustrated

I notice that I’m becoming reactive and my vibe is going down

that’s when I stop what I’m doing

take a breath

and do one of my favorite practices

I talk with my inner child.

He’s afraid, angry and feels guilty about not approaching the cute girl outside the store.

We talk

A minute or two passes by and these difficult emotions come up

I stay with them, hold the space and eventually….

ahh

I feel relief.

I continue shopping.

(then, on the way back home, I do approach another girl and she asks my for my IG)

Had I not practiced this inner safety mechanism, I’d been fighting myself, kept lowering my vibe and started to mentally and emotionally hurt myself at the store.

You know what I mean?

The thoughts “You’re stupid, you’re a loser, why didn’t I do this” and the accompanying emotions that makes existing feel like swimming in lava or poked by knives.

This used to take me hours, sometimes days and weeks to process - I know managed in a minute or two.

And then saw a new opportunity which the universe then provided.

So you see, the first step to meeting a cute girl is not a pick up line, but stopping that inner war with yourself.

That’s when you start to feel safe, and meeting a girl in your day to day life becomes easier and more fun.

I’ll be hosting a workshop on Sunday where you’ll learn how to do this.

Not only learn it, we’ll practice it together

and that’s how you start feeling safe within.

Tomorrow I’ll share with you the details.

Stay empowered,

Edin